


Suvivor's Guilt

by Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M, Fingered Til Whimpering, Grief/Mourning, Having Sex to Feel Good if Only For a Moment, Trapped in Spaceship Escape Pod Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:28:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27438106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo
Relationships: Katrina Cornwell/Gabriel Lorca | Mirror Gabriel Lorca
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14
Collections: Flash With Benefits





	Suvivor's Guilt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GlassesOfJustice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassesOfJustice/gifts).



The pod was made for six. That was part of the good news--the two of them would survive longer. The long range distress transmitter it was equipped with had been damaged in an explosion as they launched. That was the bad news--they would probably die anyway while waiting for rescue. Should they be rescued, death was still a likely option from what Katrina knew about this universe. She was making calculations in her mind, how long they had, how much they could extend that life, whether rigging some form of long range communications might work. 

He was staring at her with all the mystery of a cat. It was a look Kat didn't know, and he wasn't pretending anymore. He didn't have to. She was the outsider here. 

"You're calculating our chances of survival," he said, smirking. "Taking in all the variables, running the numbers in that very pretty head of yours." Katrina pursed her lips as he continued. "Typical Starfleet mentality. She would have tried to kill me, you know. It would have hurt her, but she would have done it if it meant survival."

Kat crossed her arms. "You haven't killed me."

"No, Kat," he said, voice soft but with an edge that was distinct to him and him alone, "because if we get out of this, I'm gonna keep you."

It took everything Kat had to suppress a shudder. "You disgust me."

"And yet…" 

A kiss wasn't what Kat was expecting. She was tensed to fight, to catch his hands, to do what she could to keep herself alive. But it was a kiss that for a moment Kat recognized, until the full, brutal intensity hit her. Kat tasted blood when she bit into his lip, but Lorca pulled away laughing, blood glinting on his teeth. He wiped it away with the back of his arm. 

"That's more like how friends treat friends here." He pulled Kat to him again, holding her tighter this time, biting into the soft spot underneath her earlobe before he said in a harsh whisper, "You played games, didn't you? 'I can make you come first' or 'if I make you scream, you'll buy all the rounds tomorrow…'. I remember that too." He kissed her jaw and nuzzled softly into her neck, just like Gabriel used to do, and the wave of grief Kat felt was tinged with desire.

"It's not the same." Kat wasn't sure if she thought it or spoke it. But his touch, fingers gripping her elbows tightly, moving to her hips as he settled against her. 

"Oh, it's not that different. I know what you want." There were times when she and Gabriel were not tender, where he left bruises on her breasts, and she left grooves in his back. And it was so close. 

"Don't," she said as he slipped his hand down her pants. 

"I've heard that too."

He pressed into her cunt, fingers parting her lips and sliding between them. Kat hated that she was wet, that she was pressing her hips into his touch as he pushed two fingers into her, curling them slowly. 

" _Just like that_ …" they said it in unison. Because if she kept her eyes closed, if she did not concentrate too hard, she could hear him. 

"Just like that." He began to fuck her, slow and hard. "And you would squirm, biting the insides of your cheeks, grinding your clit into my hand, trying your damnedest not to make a noise." 

And even now, that was what she was doing, Kat wanted to believe that; the pain of his betrayal was nothing underneath the grief at knowing that the man she'd shared so many moments of her life with, the man she loved was gone. 

"But you always moaned, Kat." He undid her collar and yanked down her zipper so that he could bite the tender flesh above her collarbone. He pushed into her so hard and curled his fingers back that Kat whimpered. "You moaned because you had a knife to my neck. Or a painstik to my ribs. Or poison to my lips."

He fucked her relentlessly, and Kat clung to him, losing herself in another Gabriel's voice as he nuzzled and bit a different woman. He fucked a woman who wasn't sobbing, whimpering, digging her nails into his hips. And Kat came with her arms around him, crying out into his mouth. 

Then he pulled away and looked at her with eyes she knew, only they were so cold. "So much alike, but...the differences." His eyes were bright. "So different...enough so that she'll like you very much."

Kat's breath shook as he withdrew his fingers. When he pressed them into her lips, she tasted the unique tang of herself...or perhaps it wasn't unique at all. And still, something pushed her to survive.


End file.
